Comic Actress Mollie Sugden pops her cork then, at the ripe old age of 86.

Ta-ta then Mollie...She's taken her tired old pussy with her apparently (And the question on everyone's lips of course: "Are there any cat-flaps in heaven?")

And look at that picture: None of that “Stop all the Clocks - cut off the telephone” type shit that you get in most funereal tributes with that WH Auden Poem - Oh no!  Just - “Fill Up” - at the bottom of the picture…

I mean “fill up” what? Your “eyes with tears”? Or “your car with Diesel” more like…

(And of course looking at that picture of that Alsation pooch up-top-right: That’s implying she was a bit of a dog or some shit like that when you think…I dunno…Just as well old Doggie, er Mollie, has had the sweet release of death…)

Anyway, far be it from me…

So ta-ta then Mrs Slocombe.

Quick question for you: “Are You Being Served?”

“Er, no - not as such - as I’m actually dead - a bit like Mr Humphreys when you think…”

And did you know that every time Mollie Sugden appeared on “Are You Being Served” as Mrs Slocombe, her pussy was died a different colour? (Or was that the hair on her head?)

And whilst I’m at it - vis-a-vis deaths and that - the true cause of Michael Jackson’s death has now been revealed - I can exclusively reveal - in one of his very own song lyrics - if you examine them carefully enough:

“Don’t blame it on the Sunshine, don’t blame it on the Moonlight (here it comes, wait for it) blame it on the BOOGIE…I just can’t – I just can’t – I just can’t control myself…” etc

Bloody Boogie – got a lot to answer for has that…

Nice one Detective Trolley.

And  talking of lyrics - is his own words from Billie Jean (slightly altered I confess, but still arguably lyrics nevertheless - and still serving as a warning to us all):

“Friends would always tell me: Be careful what you do. Don’t go around sucking young boys cocks…” (Backing Vocals: “Co-o-o-cks”).

Good point though ey? Only had himself to blame really - that and of course the “Boogie” as previously discussed.

Anyway – keep it real. Can’t spend all night blogging on to you. I’m off for a well deserved wank in the bottom of my bin.

(Where’s ya wheeliebin? Erm - I’ve wheeliebin havin’ a wank…)

Stan T

http://www.stantrolley.com

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley 

Yep - left a bit, right a bit - keep an even keel Mr Christian:

Hold all me calls - as your Uncle Stan is on his Vinegars…

And in the words of that Michael Jackson - in that song what he recorded (before he died, erm obviously) “Don’t Stop Til you Get Enough”:

“Keep on - keep on - don’t stop - sensation it got me welling up… The force it got a lot of power and - I’m getting closer now - keep on - don’t stop til you get enough - touch me - it make me feel like WOOOO!”

(Thanks Mike: Grab your bollocks and get dancing me ol’ cocker…)

“INCOMIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNG!!”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnd Relax...

TICKETS FOR SALE:

“Jackson 5 Reunion Concert” - now 20% off:

(You do the Math…)

Stan Trolley

http://twitter.com/stantrolley

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

http://www.stantrolley.com

The Daily Mail can fuck off out my Wheeliebin: That's my home that is...www.stantrolley.com

NOT SO MUCH “NOT IN MY FRONT YARD” AS “YES IN MY FRONT YARD, ACTUALLY” - AND WHEREVER THE FUCK ELSE I CHOOSE TO PARK IT, THANK YOU VERY MUCH…

“WHAT DO WE WANT?”

“MORE WHEELIEBINS…”

“WHERE DO WE WANT THEM?”

“WHEREVER THE FUCK WE LIKE - ERM -AND ALL OVER THE COUNTRY - AND AS BIG AS WE LIKE WHILST WE’RE AT IT…ER, ACTUALLY...”

"SAVE MY WHEELIBIN": JOIN THE CAMPAIGN TO SAVE STAN TROLLEY - I.E ME - FROM EVICTION... www.stantrolley.com

YEP, HURRY! JOIN THE CAMPAIGN TO SAVE STAN TROLLEY - “WHEELIEBINS UNITE AGAINST THE DAILY MAIL”

BLOODY “DAILY MAIL” - GET OFF MY BLOODY WHEELIEBIN - IT’S MY HOME THIS IS - I BLOODY LIVE HERE IN ONE - YOU ARSEHOLES…

I’M NOT SOME BLOODY- ERRANT GIPPO - PARKED ILLEGALLY ON SOME FAT-CAT MEMBER OF PARLIAMENT’S  - SNOUT IN THE TROUGH - EXPENSES PAID FOR - BACK YARD WITH A FUCKIN’ MOAT - SQUATTER…

OH NO! I’M A MEMBER OF THE GENERAL PUBLIC ME - I KNOW MY RIGHTS - I DON’T PAY TAXES…

(ERM, THAT’S IT ACTUALLY - I DON’T PAY TAXES…) BUT THAT’S NOT MY FAULT - IT’S NOT COS I DON’T WANT TO: IT’S NOT MY FAULT I’M CAUGHT IN A FUCKIN’ VORTEX LIKE A GENIE IN A BOTTLE IN AN EXTRA LARGE TARDIS LIKE WHEELIEBIN. I’M AN URBAN FIXTURE AND AN URBAN MYTH ME: I’M STAN TROLLEY

“WHEREVER I PARK MY WHEELIEBIN” (TO QUOTE PAUL YOUNG, BROADLY SPEAKING, ONLY NOT INVOLVING A “HAT”, AS SUCH) - THAT’S MY HOME THAT IS: SO FUCK OFF OUT OF “DAILY MAIL”!

SO YEAH: BE QUICK-CHOPS AND BE QUICK-SMART ABOUT IT: JOIN THE CAMPAIGN - AND THE BLOODY FACEBOOK GROUP TOO WHILST YOU’RE AT IT - TO SAVE OUR WHEELIEBINS - AND MINE - STAN TROLLEY’S - IN PARTICULAR…

AND GET CHANTING: 

“WHAT DO WE WANT?”

“MORE WHEELIEBINS”

“AND WHOSE IN PARTICULAR DO WE LIKE?”

“STAN TROLLEY’S” ERM ETC…

And here’s my official Stan Trolley “Save our Wheeliebins” Campaign Joke: 

“Stan Trolley’s World Famous Wheeliebin Joke” on YouTube:

'Nuff said...www.stantrolley.com

Keepin’ it real

Stan T

http://www.stantrolley.com

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

Look, they've thought of everything - it's even got an applicator for when she's on the blob...www.stantrolley.com

Say no more…

Stan T

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

Oh yes - and not forgetting:

"Some Girls Have All The Luck" as that Robert Palmer used to sing (erm, before he died, er, obviously...)

Keepin’ it both real and up

Stan T

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

Coming soon: “Gags for Wags”…

I notice from a scrap of old Newspaper that wafted in to settle against my bin, that apparently some aggressive black bird has been dive-bombing and generally ”haranguing” passers by in the San Francisco Business district…

Naome Campbell up to her old tricks again then…

Memories of course of one of the contestant fuckwit answers on “Family Fortunes” to Les Dennis in the Les Dennis era of the programme:

Les: Name a black bird with a long neck

Contestant: Er…Naome Campbell Les?

Twat! (not Les - the contestant - although thinking about it…)

Twitter twatter twitter twatter twitter twattter twot

Yep,  Stan T also available now to stalk, erm, follow on Twitter:

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

What the fark is going on?!

Gordon Brown has only been an’ gawn an recruited your hero and mine - Sir Alan “Sid James” Sugar as special advisor & “Captain of Enterprise” for the Labour Party…

Gordon - You're Fired (he-ha-ha!) www.stantrolley.com

A bit like William Shitactor, er, Shatner as Captain Kirk off of Star Trek yelling at Simon Pegg, er, Scotty, to help “get us out of here and avert disaster”:

“The Dilithium Crystals of the Labour Party cannae’ tek it Captain - I’m giving her all she’s got…”

Pause

“Sir Alan will see you in the Boardroom now Gordon…”

“Gordon Brown: You’re Fired - He-ha-ha”  (See photo above…)

Now there’s a surprise - erm not - and, as ever, nice one Sir Alan…

All we need now is Anne Robinson as some “token bird” being brought in to replace all of those other WAGs (Women Against Gordon) that have already abandoned him - and then yep, you guessed it - we’ll have a cracking sentence - with Anne Robinson - a bit like William Shatner in a dress as Captain Kirk - and Sir Alan Sugar as Leanord Nimoy (but with a poc-marked face instead of pointy ears) as Spok:

“Gordon: You are the weakest link - YOU’RE FIRED…He-ha-ha” (Scotty, put your foot down cock and take us to next Elections…)

“Aye aye Captain”…etc

"Gordon: You are the weakest link - You're Fired" www.stantrolley.com

Keepin’ it real - and very much UP

Stan T (for Pime Minister, erm, obviously)

http://www.stantrolley.com

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

And also now available to stalk, er, follow - on Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

P.S Check this out: Leonard Nimoy’s “Ballad of Bilbo Baggins” on YouTube (what a TWAT!)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XC73PHdQX04

Yep:

Tis exactly 20 years ago today chickens, that an extra large monolithic Wheeliebin - piloted by yours truly - mysteriously tardissed in, to stand in front of - and block the path - of a Tank in Tiananmen Square…

And then of course you’ll remember - it then fucked-off out-of-it-again sharpish - as knob-gags (apparently) didn’t quite catch the flavour of the day…

Worth a try though ey?

“What do we want?”

“More knob gags…”

“When do we want them?”

“Erm, knob…” etc…

"What do we want?" "More Knob gags..." erm, etc www.stantrolley.com

China ey?  Cruel but fair - and of course they do field an excellent Tabletennis team…

See earlier Blog entry below:

August 22nd: “Meanwhile back at the Olympics - Tabletennis…”

Keepin’ it real

Stan T

http://www.stantrolley.com

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

P.S Not forgetting of course, “The Muppets”: “Tiananananmen - bee-bii-bee-di-bip - Tianananananmen - bee-bii-dip-bip” erm, etc…

Oh shit - the wife's coming home...www.stantrolley.com

Yep - Jacqui Smith has stepped down as Home Secretary in a Cabinet “Knuckle Shuffle” to spend more time with her family…

 (But on the plus side that’ll allow plenty more time to watch some more porn with dear dear Dicky…)

Harf, harf!

See earlier Stan T Bogblog entry below as a cheeky chappy-chaser:

March 31st: As the Home Secretary’s Husband Dicky Timney, “Bangs Another One Off” erm, and an Expenses Claim! Harf, Harf!

Keepin’ it up - as well as real…

Stan T

http://www.youtube.com/stantrolley

I got kicked out of a Village Fete yesterday. Got the “wrong end of the stick” so to speak…

Thought it was a “Cock Down to Your Knees” competition, when no - it was - in actual FACT - a “Knobbly Knees” competition…

“Oh riiiiight…Pardon me Ladies, my mistake - I’ll just pop that particular offending article i.e my cock back in then shall I?”

“Still. Admit it - it is a beauty (you can touch it if you like…) erm, praps not…

Ho-hum…Oh well - another day, another knob-gag…

Yours

Stan “Cock down to me Knees” Trolley

An extra large Marrow - a bit like my cock www.stantrolley.com

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley

P.S Which reminds me of that old Music Hall Classic that I must sing for you sometime - The Marrow Song:

Cue Music

“Down the road there lives a man I’d like you all to know

He grew a great big Marrow for the local Flower Show

Soon the judges came along to give the prizes out

They only took one look at it - and then began to shout:

“Oh! What a beauty - I’ve never seen one as big as that before

Oh! What a beauty - it must be 3 feet long or even more

It’s such a lovely colour - it’s nice and round and fat

I never thought a Marrow could grow as big as that

Oh! What a beauty

I’ve never seen one as big as that before…erm, etc”

Stan Trolley is Sid James is Alan Sugar www.stantrolley.com

Having trouble with your team?

Here’s exactly what to say to get it all put right - just call me “Captain Clarity”…

So as I said to my team just the other day:

“Listen up guys: Can’t you get it through your thick heads? Every time you cock up, it’s my arse on the line. Get it? Your cock up, my arse…”

That told ‘em…

Onwards and upwards

Stan T

http://www.twitter.com/stantrolley